Cradles & Cupcakes

Trying: SoulCycle

HealthRachel LinetteComment

Twenty minutes in I was internally screaming "Screw this! Never doing this again" and then the last song came on and I left feeling like Michelle Obama.

SoulCycle is a cult, right? That's what I've always read, it's what the woman on the bike next to me called it before promising I would too get hooked. There's all this hype, all my favorite celebs are doing it. The first class is only $20 bucks, why not?

Working out is not something I enjoy doing. I dabble because I'd like to keep enjoying delicious food and not get early heart disease. I run and sweat and make my husband teach me proper form when lifting weights so my back looks good in dresses. I wanna feel good. I wanna look good and the post workout high is possibly the greatest non sexual feeling in the universe.

As a kid I weighed in right under 100 pounds all the way up until high school, where I maybe went up to 110 max. I wore a size zero, somehow miraculously managed to get boobs at 14 and yet I looked at myself in the mirror or in photos wearing a bathing suit and I would pick apart my hips, my chin, my stomach. My mother was, who was considerably prettier than all other moms I knew, was constantly talking about how fat she was {even though she went to the gym every day, had a six pack, ate nothing and was hit on constantly} and how fat and gross everyone else was. Her ideal body was nowhere near mine, so how the hell was I supposed to feel beautiful?

Currently at my largest weight, I have a loving husband who can't keep his hands or eyes off of me and I've come a long way from that girl I once was--but I won't lie and say that body image isn't something I constantly struggle with.

So here's me. My first SoulCycle class. In my brand new outfit that I'd just picked up the day before on my lunch break. Walking in to a sea of goddesses.

I ask someone wearing a yellow shirt to help me and find out my first pair of shoes are free (normally $3). Another yellow shirt helps me set up my bike and figure out the shoe click thing. She see's I have forgotten my water bottle and grabs me one. I panic a little as I watch all these people who clearly know what they're doing already letting their legs spin.

The woman I mentioned before assures me the instructor, Kellen, is great and gives me the name of another favorite that she goes to at 5:30pm.

I don't know why I picked the 8:30AM class. I'm not a morning person, mostly because I always have to get up at 6:45AM to get ready for work. But here I am. In a dark room, with maybe twelve other women, some candles and...the music turns on. It's loud & suddenly I'm realizing how similar this all feels to going to a club...but with stationary bikes.

So we're doing it. Spinning? Cycling? I'm trying not to fall off the bike as I go from side to side and attempt push ups on the handle bars. I hate it. I'm sweating, but I'm doing it. There's twelve other women in the room, what am I gonna do, get up and leave?

Oh wait I can't cause I don't know how to get my shoes out of the click in thing.

But also because I'm not a quitter. I may be a little whiny, but I don't quit.

It sucks.

But it's a good kind of sucks because it's a work out--and me having to reach for a water bottle and wipe off my forehead and the handlebars means it's working.

It gets easier.

The weight section is my favorite. It's familiar. I feel more confident than I have in the last half hour. I punch the air with all my might.

We end with my second favorite part of the experience. Going as fast as you possibly can. First seated, and then standing. To me, it was like a big fuck you to the rest of the work out. Like screaming at nothing, but with your thighs, as loud as you can just to get it out.

It's over.

And I love it?

That post work out high. I feel it as I finally learn how to get my feet out. As I stretch. When I walk to my locker and head outside. SoulCycle kicked my ass.

I'm definitely doing that again.